“Comparison is the thief of joy.” — Teddy Roosevelt
I find myself thinking about this quote a lot lately. Being stuck at home leaves a lot of time for social media, and while it’s good in this day and age to have a way to connect with people near and far when we all feel so alone, it’s so easy to get sucked into my Facebook feed mindlessly scrolling through everyone else’s highlight reels, and then signing off, wondering what I did for the last 30 minutes and more upset than when I began. I am constantly working on being content with what I have, but sometimes I feel like scrolling through social media actively negates that goal. But the pull is strong.
Know what I mean? You know what I mean.
I’ve started listening to podcasts during my morning walks (turns out I hate running, and walking 3 miles every day is alot easier for me than running a mile 3 times a week) and on my brother’s recommendation, recently began listening to Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard, where he candidly interviews celebrities or experts about their life experiences. Yesterday, I listened to his first episode ever, which aired back in 2018, with Shepard’s interview of his wife, Kristen Bell.
I’ve always liked Kristen Bell, but this interview made me like her even more. It was a long two-hour podcast, in which Shepard and Bell talk about their relationship with each other, their families, and even opened up about their respective struggles with alcoholism and depression. During the conversation, when Shepard asked about Bell’s generally positive outlook on life and innate desire to help others, Bell said something that really resonated with me. She said that we constantly have a choice throughout our day, throughout our lives, to choose either happiness or suffering. If we always actively seek to choose happiness over suffering when faced with a decision, we will be ok.
If you’re sitting in traffic, having not moved 10 feet in the last 30 minutes, with cranky kids in the backseat and hangry because you haven’t eaten in 6 hours, you can either take it out on your kids, and lower the spirits of everyone in the car. Or you take a deep breath, and turn on an audiobook or some music. Choose happiness.
If you’ve been bickering with your spouse all day and it’s time to sit down to dinner, you can either give him the silent treatment or forgive and enjoy your time together. Choose happiness.
If it’s been a long day of school-at-home, and it’s almost 5, there’s nothing left in the fridge, you don’t know what you are going make for dinner, take a breath. Choose happiness.
If it’s only 9 in the morning of a long summer day, and the kids are already starting to get on your nerves as their fighting in the playroom just keeps getting louder: Choose happiness.
If you’ve put your kids to bed and you sit down on the couch for the first time all day and take out your phone to scroll through Facebook. If the pictures of the happy couples, new houses, and vacations aren’t making you happy, put down your phone. Go for a walk. Make yourself a cup of tea. Choose happiness.
Choose happiness for yourself first. And if you’ve done that, then choose happiness for others too.
I’m not saying it’s going to be easy. I’m saying there is a choice.
I started this post with the famous Teddy Roosevelt quote about comparison with others. It’s what I struggle with daily, but I know that I have a choice. Life isn’t just going on around me, with things in my day happening to me that I can’t help. Every morning, I can choose happiness instead of suffering. Don’t let comparison rob you. Choose happiness.