Anyone ever see the movie Trolls? No? Just me?
There’s this great anthem, sung my the main character, Poppy, about persevering in a situation that seems hopeless called “Get Back Up Again.”
I love it and of course sing it at the top of my lungs whenever it comes on my playlist in the car. But I digress….
With my son’s Bar Mitzvah coming up, I find myself waxing poetic about the Torah recently. I mean, I’m a Chumash teacher – I always do that. But now, more than ever. 🙂
This week’s parsha does not disappoint. At the end of the parsha, Yosef says goodbye to his brothers, and makes them promise that when the Jews finally leave Egypt, they will take his bones with them back to the Promised Land.
Yosef is a true leader. He had overcome so much in his life – being hated by his brothers, sold as a slave, languishing as a prisoner for many years – until he finally gets his big break as Pharaoh’s second-in-command. He is the quintessential example of a person who doesn’t let adversity get him down. He always looked on the bright side of things, and at the end of this week’s Parsha, even told his brothers once again that he doesn’t blame them for selling him – it was all part of G-d’s plan.
Wow. Just wow.
Interestingly, this attitude, to be able to enjoy the process, not take things personally, and know that it’s all a part of G-d’s plan, comes more naturally to little kids than adults.
John Holt, in his book, How Children Learn, talks about a young baby learning how to walk. They may fall, not once, not twice, but dozens of times. But it doesn’t discourage them. They don’t throw their hands up in exasperation, saying, “Forget it! I’m never going to walk!” They just keep getting back up again, because failure is a necessary part of the process to make progress.
I saw this myself when my then 8-year old and 3-year old were both making a bead necklace one Sunday afternoon. When the 3-year old accidentally dropped her string and beads scattered everywhere, she giggled and squealed and started over. When the 8-year old did the same thing moments later? Not so much.
It’s not until we get older that we associate trying and failing with being a bad thing. In school, everyone wants to get the right answer in class. Imagine if we continued to have this attitude – that getting things wrong was a good thing – all throughout our lives. Imagine what we could accomplish!
Now that’s not to say that you need to know when to cut your losses. But I think the times we give up too soon are far greater, far more numerous, than the times we try too hard.
I love the story that J.K. Rowling tells about how her Harry Potter manuscript was turned down dozens of times by publishers, until one finally agreed to publish it. If she had given up, entire generations of children (and adults) wouldn’t have experienced the fantastic world she created.
There are countless stories like this throughout history – of people never giving up, getting back up again. The first one we see is Yosef in this week’s Parsha. He didn’t feel sorry for himself when things didn’t go his way, or blame anyone for his misfortune. He accepted it as part of the process and because of that, was able to keep moving.
As Rudyard Kipling wrote so poignantly:
If you can dream and not make dreams your master
If you can think and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with triumph and disaster
And treat those two imposters just the same.
Just think of that baby trying to walk, falling hundreds of times before they take that first tentative step. Remember, failure is part of the process. If they don’t stop trying, then neither should we.