If we are friends on social media, you know that 2 weeks ago, our family got a dog. I can sit here and tell you that this was driven mostly by my teenage daughter’s constant pleading over the last few years, but if I’m being honest, I will tell you that I’ve wanted a dog for a few years now too.
It has not come without challenges. My friends with dogs told me that having a new puppy is like having a newborn in the house. And it is. Up at dawn to walk him, feed him, clean his poop.
But there’s other similarities to having children. There’s so many differing opinions about what to feed your dog, the right way to socialize, whether or not to let it sleep near you or not, letting it cry (bark) it out, whether to crate train or not. It’s exhausting and confusing. But much like parenting, I chose this and am not complaining. Or maybe I am….but bear with me – I’m going somewhere.
Just like when I was a new parent, I am devouring books and articles on the topic. I paid for a lifetime membership to a dog training website and scour the message boards late at night looking for solutions to things like why my dog is barking in the crate at night and how to determine whether he needs to go to the bathroom or whether he just wants attention.
But unlike humans, dogs will tell you exactly how they feel – whether they’re excited to see you or they just want to be alone.
One thing I’ve noticed is that they can shrug off disappointments pretty quickly. After 15 minutes of me letting him bark incessantly in his pen, Obi will still lick my face off when I finally come to greet him when he’s quiet. No grudges or pouty faces here. Wish I could say the same for my 10-year old.
And he greets new dogs so easily. My neighbor often brings her dog, Tatum, over to say hi when we’re outside taking a potty break (yes, I call it potty time – I’m one of those people now). Obi is so excited to see her each and every time, jumping up and down for joy when he sees her crossing the street, sniffing her butt excitedly when she finally approaches. And it strikes me.
Wouldn’t it be nice if we got just as excited to meet new people? Excitedly wave from across the street when we see someone new in town, anxiously waiting for them to cross the street so we can – ok, maybe not sniff their butts – but say hello.
Recently, new people have been flocking down to Florida in droves. It’s not slow a organic growth like many Jewish communities around the country. It’s more like a sudden explosion. You know the way yeast does nothing for the first couple minutes when touched by warm water? After a few minutes of patiently waiting, if you’re watching it closely – you’ll see an eruption – suddenly the yeast will start to bubble and a foamy layer will overtake your bowl. That’s what’s happened here. And though it’s great for the community and for my kids to have so many friends to play with in the neighborhood, it comes with its drawbacks. Back in the old days, when someone new moved to town, they would get invites for Shabbat meals for months as everyone clamored to get to know them. Not anymore. There are just so many new people all at once. It’s hard for the old-timers and it’s hard for the newbies who’ve just moved in.
When a community gets so big, it loses that small town charm – people don’t automatically say hi to the new face across the street. It takes too much effort to be welcoming to so many people at once. And those new people may get overlooked – somehow just become a familiar face without us taking the time to get to know them.
But what if we try anyway? What if we greeted our friends and the new people in our neighborhoods like Obi greets Tatum – with unabashed and unabated excitement? Would it be so hard?
Rosh Hashana starts this Friday night. As we near the time of year where we are supposed to take stock of our lives – wouldn’t it be great if we could try to show the people in our lives how excited we are to see them? All too often, I take my husband and children for granted. What if my face lit up every time they walked into the room? What if my face lit up when I met somebody new in town? How would that change their day? How would that make them feel?
What if we turned this big city back into a small town? What if we all greeted each other like Obi greets Tatum?