I want to send the record straight. I am not a good homeschooler because I used to be a teacher.
When I tell people I homeschool, they usually nod and say knowingly, “Well that makes sense, because you’re a teacher.” And while that may give me a slight leg up in having the perfect teacher voice or knowing how to make behavior charts for my kids, it doesn’t make me a qualified homeschooler.
What does make me a qualified homeschooler is this: I am my children’s mother.
Allow me to explain.
When I made the decision to homeschool a couple years ago, I unknowingly turned two basic assumptions I had made about raising kids on their head:
All children have to go to school to learn what they need to know.
All children need the socialization of a classroom in order to be “normal.”
With trepidation as I embarked on my journey, I slowly realized that these simply aren’t true. True, my child’s teacher may have an insight into why they are having difficulty with two-digit multiplication, but the truth is this:
No one knows my kids better than me.
I see their learning styles and am constantly adapting. My daughter likes it when I teach her a math lesson and then let her do an entire worksheet alone. My son needs more handholding during the first few problems. Writing, you ask? My 5th grader needs my help making an outline and then he’s off to the races. He’s motivated by charts and grades on each assignment (for better or for worse) while my daughter is motivated by hot chocolate and the Frozen soundtrack playing in the background. I’m not going to lie. We have our tense moments and sometimes we just all need a break. I don’t always get it perfect, but I’m getting better at it.
Homeschooling is one-on-one education at its finest, because there is a love and investment in my child’s future that isn’t there at school.
I see posts on social media all the time about homework, and how it’ll be the death of many parents. Kids come home from school at 4:30, have barely enough time to do their work, have dinner, bath time, and then bedtime. There is no time for anything else. Homework has become the centerpiece of the family’s weeknight.
And I think how that used to be us. But it’s not anymore. My kids do their schoolwork in the morning and are usually done by lunch. This leaves the afternoon for knitting, reading, ice skating, basketball, exploring the neighborhood park, and so much more. Our evenings are for family dinners and read-alouds. And sometimes that whole schedule gets mixed up because life gets in the way, and that’s ok.
There’s a saying in our community, “There’s no behind in homeschooling.” And though sometimes I worry late at night that my kids are “behind”, when I stop and really think about it, I see that learning is happening all the time, I just have to make sure I’m not too rushed to notice it. Whether it be at the grocery store making change for $10 or learning about a new culture while we make small talk at a neighbor’s pot luck brunch.
And finally, the socialization question.
Last year, I used to worry that every day out of school would make my kids weirder and weirder. Now I breathe a little easier. I know that my kids do not need school to know how to get along with other people. That’s not to say some interaction isn’t important. What I have realized is they do need playdates and friends on the weekend, but that should do for now. They need to exercise their social muscles like any other, but they do not need school to do that. And that is so wonderfully freeing.
And while we’re on the subject of things they don’t need, let’s talk about one thing they do: They do need a focused, relaxed mother. They feed off my energy, and when I’m having a bad day, unfortunately, their day doesn’t go so well either. But I am constantly working on it, because I have the time and room to do so. And for that, I am grateful.